alright. everything is down.
or i should say settled down!
no more hanging over..no more avoidance..no more secrets. =)
throwing out what is inside of me,never makes me feel ashame at all..surprisingly.
well a little bit of sad and disappointed..hmm..i guess it wont beat me down..
erm..its kinda normal to be upset lar..
whatever it is now, i accept.
though i still can't confirm that i have no feelings towards him.
but yea, its a time for me to lull myself not to.
ah ahh..that is dangerous!
no matter what he said, i assumed they are true.
the way i act is to trust and to let go.
like always, im finding a better me!
i feel im so precious in His eyes.
before i attend myself into any mess, He always gives me his words.
awww..i just feel like singing "how great..is our God..c'on! sing with me how great..is our God!..."
lol..
nah dear friend, facing yourself and facing the matter in life is a step before u do any decision.
before everything is too late, see things clearer first!
i bet you'll earn!
okie, im good girl! haha!
*good job!* applause please~!
a song for me myself and a song for everyone!
telling everyone that you deserve a "beautiful" title!
love this song super much! its my phone ringtone! aha!
ahem..get ready, u'll see a lot of cacat me! =p
enjoy! *winks*
11:05 PM
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
不准逃避
是啊，我已经没有比这个能失去的更多的了。
天父，谢谢你的安排。
我知道怎么做了。
6:47 PM
Blessings - Laura Story
We pray for blessings We pray for peace Comfort for family, protection while we sleep We pray for healing, for prosperity We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering All the while, You hear each spoken need Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops What if Your healing comes through tears What if a thousand sleepless nights Are what it takes to know You're near What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom Your voice to hear And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love As if every promise from Your Word is not enough All the while, You hear each desperate plea And long that we have faith to believe
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops What if Your healing comes through tears What if a thousand sleepless nights Are what it takes to know You're near And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us When darkness seems to win We know that pain reminds this heart That this is not, this is not our home It's not our home
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops What if Your healing comes through tears And what if a thousand sleepless nights Are what it takes to know You're near What if my greatest disappointments Or the achings of this life Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy And what if trials of this life The rain, the storms, the hardest nights Are Your mercies in disguise
Tears is the only way how my eyes speak when my mouth can't explain how things made my heart broken
当嘴无法解释,眼睛便用泪水来说话
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10:43 PM
Saturday, June 9, 2012
I DUNNO WHAT AM I WRITING
really feel like and recording down everything that i've received these few days.
love writing it down so much!
my heart is willing but my flesh is not allowed..
stretching so hard to keep my eyes open now.
i MUST write it down! theres so "full" inside me now!
i am wondering..if one day i never write for about one month in my blog.
that time i must be serious comma in my soul that i can never express myself anymore.
i wish i wont have such day in my life.
ish..what am i talking now?
duh..i just have one night to rest..tomorrow have a lot of homework to do before my interview.
yahhh..night!
11:20 PM
行公义,好怜悯,学谦卑
今天,完全体会所有独得的感觉。
喜怒哀乐,火热渴幕,伤心嫉妒,厌恶斥责,惊喜连连!
我打从心底,告诉自己,如果这个人再一次让我难受,我不会再跟他联络!
是不会!
可是,突然发现,怎么我的思想一点都没有进步?!
今天才学会的功课,也都没有行出来!
"行公义,好怜悯,学谦卑"
是啊,我的自尊心不想受伤,我的嫉妒让我平静不下来。
但是,这不恰好是锻炼自己的时刻?
这几天累计下来的功课,绝对不可以因为自己的私心而放纵。
我知道,我必须降下自己,让神来带领其他的。
我是我个人的心的掌管者,其他人我不能控制。
但这只是我的本分。
这几天,看到需要神的人还有很多,我应该多放心思在神的国度里。
虽然现在很受伤,我知道,这都会过去的。
主,我求你保守我的心,让我的今天死去,明天会是全然的生命。
啊~去死吧!
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2:18 AM
Friday, June 8, 2012
great God do great things!
Excited!no need sleep tonight!lol
Yes,i am crazy!
Crazy for God! Blek!
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12:08 AM
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
fuh..i put on my lower braces..super painful now!!!
ulcer is coming out dy..>.<
i din even know how to close my mouth..so so uncomfortable! herngggg~~~
ah..today went to dental and have my hair cut..both also dun like..argh..i want my fringe back..now not so natural dy my fringe..
ish..tonight no need sleep dy..last time my braces made me awake whole night of pain!
din eat anything for the whole day..except having mushroom soup during hi-tea time witha sister, mei yoong!
cant eat dy..argh!!!!
go kl what to eat?!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! (fyi, im attending church conference)
oiyor..6th of June is such good day meh?
ah che birthday then edmund flying to Germany dy..
ish..so many feelings inside now..sad + happy + exciting
n 2ml im going to meet my love!
yor..all in one day!
i gotta feeling that this trip is gonna be a big big blessings to me, and my buddies!
this land is needed to be healed!
im gonna be the "beautiful feet" to step out for Gospel!
Let's GO!
11:55 PM
end of story
when someone walked away from you,
let them go...
your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you.
and it doesn't mean they are bad.
it just means that their part in your story is O.V.E.R.
at some point, you have to realize that..
some people stay in your heart, but not in your life.
hmmm..yesterday is kinda wonderful for me..
though my heart is still hanging around there..
but meeting and gathering with family is bringing me back to a lot of childhoods.
we talked a lot of “想当年”..haha
last time, we used to play under the tree..
playing with all the sands, woods, stones and leaves..
dancing with the dancing pad! owh! i missed that so bad!
how excited we were to go bermise to "swim".
how stupid we were..and how innocent we were..
but now, we're all different.
growing up and facing different challenges in life.
awwww~hoe great if i were still five!
hmm..wont have to know all the dark side of this world.
being innocent like always.
suddenly, dun feel like growing anymore.
haiz..because im really scared.
after the happening, i am really timid now.
im so scared of being alone in the dark now.
i would imagine any possibilities of accident, dangers, all kind of scary moment ANYTIME!
i dun feel safe and peace anymore.
this is making me so tired.
to being that alert anytime.
why this world became so ugly since i grow up?
i have to accept and learn how to protect myself.
i wish i know kungfu...! =.=
urgh..the world is still telling me theres more and more evil side out there..
waiting for me to accept all the facts you know.
huhhh...what to do?
im so tiny..dat i can;t do anything to stop all that.
the Mr.X i mentioned before, is still liking the "Xlaine" photos.
i still will see it pop up in my news feed.
still, i feel really uncomfortable with that.
i just not ready to accept facts about guys i guess.
and of course he is still like this la..he din know i am paying attention to this.
but i thought of what sushi told me last time, i can't continue to enlarge one's weakness and ignore their good side.
if so, im going to become a lesbian one day! O.M.G!
this is not a joke.
recently i am so sensitive to those guy's eyes looking at girls.
i really beh tahan ahhhhh! supre geli!
aiks..okok..i have to learn to ignore dy..just be myself thats it..
i dun wanna continue to let myself pull down in this evil swirl anymore.
i need some positive input!
oh! i think i need this book!
this is recommended by my dear Vanness and Vannessa! (they both tweeted this..=p)
i searched online for it but still cant find out theres is any stock in M'sia.
eheh! i better finish my books on rack first..bwahahaha.
or anyone can help to get it?ehhhh..please?
10:13 AM
Sunday, June 3, 2012
i miss your (:
babe, i know you wont be seeing this.
but seriously..i miss your smile..
i miss the days we talk, laugh, and even gossip together, discussing guys thing.
i know this hard time is really hard.
im so speechless about this. im so sorry..
the stress of me have changed me i guess.
i finally cried out justnow.(its the second time after the happening)
my heart is still so pain and scared..
i still couldn't find a way..
please forgive me of my silence..i just..dunno what to do.
oh God, tell me what else i can do?
.....please return me my friend's smile..a simple joyful heart!
.. please
1:33 AM
Saturday, June 2, 2012
我想知道，
当我的名字滑过你耳朵，
你脑海中会闪现些什么。
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9:30 AM
Friday, June 1, 2012
i love nude color
blekMy nude face still have lot of scars two days after facial.
Lol.im just getting boring.lets self-shoot!
Blek! =p
After few days of cleaning,finally i get 60percent of my stuff in place in my room!
