complex ceation which is faithfully made.

READ me and you'll know who i am and who am i.

you know you love me.

甜甜的歌，甜甜的诠释。
利用这首歌，学习如何唱出“笑容”。
选择这歌，只因为歌词简单带出温暖的甜蜜，比较容易进入意境。
歌里也需要真假音转换技巧。

首先，我练习了笑着唱歌，这可不简单！
牙套累人~嘴唇时常来不及唱，咬字受影响！

第二，这是一次性的录音。
不会练习，不会录第二次。
目的是带出，最原始最自然的感觉。
当然它不会那么完美，但我喜欢自然的感觉。





我的确很久没做酱的事（录歌）了。嘻！
在你听的当儿，希望你也会感受到那份暖心。
任何评语，欢迎之至！

p/s: 我相信，每个梦想的背后，都有它坚持的理由！



人的爱可以是那么伟大，也可以是那么的卑贱。
我不得不那么形容，卑微，而奸贱。
那种可怕，是连魔鬼都不如。
那种无情，是造成了多少的伤痛？
有些人，不懂爱，就随便爱。
有些人，很想爱，却不能爱。
有些人，爱不到，而学会爱自己多一点。
有些人，明明很爱，还只能把爱藏起来。
有些人，很难爱，因为他们爱自己胜过一切。
有些人…………

原来的简单，现在变得复杂。
最简单的爱，从何时起变质了？
你知不知道，原来有一种爱，可以穿越时空，可以是零交流？
你知不知道，原来有一种爱，可以超越想象，可以是未曾看见，却坚定不渝？

这样的爱，有谁能抗拒？有谁能抵挡？

那，才是真正的_ 爱！



近来的我，不知道是开始懵懂，还是得了短暂失忆症？




"if someone appreciate you, this doesn't mean that you are special.
that's because of they are special."

someone told me this statement before.
and i think thats a very good one.
so i always keep myself to be reminded of this whenever i face discouragement.
because we always expect people to appreciate your work.
for me,it don't need to be an gift back or pay back.
at least they see it.just a simply action like word of affirmation will do.
you know, when you really love somebody, you will never know how much you gave.
and you will never care how much you receive back.
because the act of serving is a love language.

i am so much blessed with the people around me where we're all surrounded by the love.
like family, like brothers and sisters.
they're so special to me.
though we they are not perfect, but they always give the best.
thanks to my star one life group members.
they meant a lot to me.=)

appreciate mr.Ryan representing star one  to present me the gift of appreciation.lol

its chocolate from s'pore.thanks lot! ^^

I want a boyfriend's jeans!
Umm,a boyfriend jeans......it don't have to get it from the boyfriend's wardrobe..
Boyfriend jeans  are oversized jeans and trousers worn by women.
 Made immensely popular by the Hollywood celebrities, this is a trend which seems to be going really strong for Spring 2011, precisely for the reason that it looks super comfortable, roomy and airy.
yeh im so off to it.

wearing too much of trousers and jeans to work.
seriously,i hate long pants a lot.
simply one and very intense reason: i don't have a long and slim legs.
and due to the family gene, =.= im with unique and "cacat" limbs.
okie, no complain! *shut up!*
lol..i can't change anything, so i wear to looks better.
boyfriend's jeans was not the newest trend.
but i think jeans is something it will never stay out of the sense of FASHION.


i prefer the ankle or knee length jeans.
loose and comfortable one will be perfect!
maybe i will get one boyfriend's jeans for myself in the coming cny without a boyfriend?
hahas.*blekk*





p/s: monday super blue, seeing lot of things through net surfing to get myself out from the bustle. oh it works! =)



whenever i see them "evangelize" to others, my tears really cant tahan.
i dunno how to tell them what are they actually doing.
all the "miracles" that they saw..it poison their heart and they believe "it".
not only trusted it but also spread this "good news" to others.
inside me, i feel ashame.
not just because of what they do..
but also because of my faith.
i've never have the most of it.
they reminded me to strengthen my "part".
what they do,i should actually do greater!better!more and more!
in the good side is, they actually believe that something is above.
they can believe by seeing things happen with their own eyes.
thats good anyway.
someday, they will see the real miracles.
i dunno how, but i trusted they will.
right now on, boosting my faith once again.

what He feeds, i swallow;
what He leads, i follow.


what i need, recharge my motor.
night peeps.<3









.. supposed im having my marketing training at kayelle now.
but you know,500bucks of allowance cannot support me to survive in peejay.
well,this is call REALITY.
nevermind,lets see what God have for me.=)

i think i mentioned before im having my internship now.(3weeks days dy) did i?
lol.working at Y.T Choong & Co. accounting firm.(Institute Choong)
my job scope huh..hmm..all about the figures..1234567890...*faint*
am doing auditing account for a so called quite big company(due to pnc i cant tell anything.heh)
which the seniors said i will take more than a month to finish it.
oh well, now i can really understand why it take such long time.
their account is super super super complicated...uhhh..
i double confirmed,i dislike accounting a lots!
ok..lets talk about the people there.

one of my working look!

main charactor: the director a.k.a boss a.k.a accountant a.k.a high official officer
she is strict, she is fierce, she is good hearted, she is a nagger, she is unsecured, she is an millionaire, she is forgetful, she is lonely, she is a 64 aged lady, she is healthy and she is a christian.
everyday, she will ask to go into her room and "talk" to us.
"Lim, Lee, Kwan!!come~" (she call us like this.lol.i am ah "lee" inside the firm.)
some times "ah Lee" sometimes "ah Liew and Lee"...dats the second the work shall be put aside and immediately get into the room.
complain about colleagues/customers, complain about how people taking advantage of her, share stories about her niece/nephew, share what she did, share how she encourage people by her donations.
every day at least ONCE, sometimes even 3 or 4 times per day, and until today, i never miss it.lol
and sometimes she can talk about one case for few days even weeks.lol
she likes to scold, this is what so famous about her.lol
she is very choosy as well, in the firm she is like a queen.
"find this file!XXX company!" "photostat!" "tax file!"
somebody will straight away move her butts to do for her when she shouted her commands from her room.
everytime she goes out, immediately one of us must put her "reserved" sign board at the parking square.
and when she comes back, "horn!" in one second you will need to take back the sign.
lol.i have horn phobia now.not joking.
the time she scold, will be really rude and annoying.(never "give face" one.>.<)
but after she scolded you, right after the second she can treat you nicely again.(confused)
sometimes it will be a really frustrating old lady, but always, i try to understand her.
i see how thoughtful and loving.
she is unsecured because there is people taking advantage from her.
she just can talk to us because she has no people to talk to.
she scold and nag to show her ownership of the firm.(to get things done)
she is concern about her nieces and nephews even some of them never appreciate.
surely i have to admit sometimes i also feel annoyed by her, but yah, she is just an old lady that needs love and cares too.
there is always a reason for a people to form a characteristic, even you can't realize it.
i believe she has her success with her, but she lost something important in her life.
so now, in the meanwhile of adapting the environment here, can i color the firm and touch someone's heart as well? ^^

how does i looks like in the early morning?

1, 2, 3..of the permanent workers work in the firm.(one is her own sister)
they are quite nice lar.
willing to teach, can talk, can chat together.
and now im car pooling with one of the senior and Vanessa.
no choice, if drive their, the parking fees will cost about rm120 per month. the cheapest also rm80.
so we makes an ideal and go-green decision.hahas.
everyday i will drive to vanessa's house and wait for "ah Lai" to come.haha
and we back together too.
everyday, we are just longin to wait for two songs.(the clock on the wall will play christmas song every hour)
"glo~ria~in excelsis deo~glo~ria~....."--lunch time!
"jingle bell, jingle bell~~...."--call it a day!
hahas..facing all the figures, really stress, i sometimes can see the figures are dancing on the paper.seriously.lol

6 of the boxes i have of the invoices and documents that i will use up everyday.

anyway, i guess i learnt a lot there.
we somemore given the chance to attend a seminar at the income tax firm.all of us.lol(5 trainees and 3 workers)
not only the academic stuff, something i should really learn in life.
i should not complain that much for my own good.lol
still need to survive for more than two months.
 wish me luck. =p

gov. is not rich? they are wasting the slides by printing each slide a page. =.= and eveyone gets one of the copy.super wasted man.

we learnt e-filing all those income tax stuff. given laptops for practical and also the cert! =)

Someone SPECIAL,

thanks for being "somewhere" for me along the journey.
thanks for being that supportive whenever i needed.
thanks for accepting me as who i am from the beginning until now.
though we're not together.
though we meet up just for twice a year.
though we don't hang out likewise.
i know, u know, we know each other!

like the time you listen when i cry to you on phone.
like the way you tried to calm me down with words that really can cool me (even word of God)
like the way you doing silly things.(alrigh,with me.lol)
like the way u purposely come back to "see" me.hahas
okies,bla bla bla..12years,its more than i can say~*chak!!*

you know what?
call me when you need me.
visit me when you miss me.
viber me when you wanted to share with me.
whatsapp me when you wanna update me.
line me when you...umm..it don't need any reason!hahas.
the expiry date is : 1999 - infinity!
Tan Shi Ying.uhh..just thanks for everything.(included the cries.lol)
love ya!<3

yours dearie,
Jxin





“人总是要在遭受巨变的时候，才能真正改变生活模式，态度，方式。
而有些事情，就是要发生，来给自己，还有关系带来考验。”

……消化，思考中~






杂乱的心情，多种的感触，全在短短的一个周末，我再一次来到了人生十字街头。
话说，今天下班，难得与“亲爱的”相约出游，不料误点打乱的我的行程，心情也好跟着翻了个跟斗！
重点：教会后记
青少年团聚会过后，挣扎的抉择是否应该留下听道（旧约研经特会）。
选择一：走人，跟着原来的计划去“亲爱的”家继续聊天叙旧。
选择二：哪都不去，回家做乖女儿。
选择三：留下，听道，但会是夜归女。

事实上，这个特会的标题的确吸引了我。（想进一步多了解旧约）
最后决定：留下！
这，有什么好复杂？有什么好烦恼？
当我想尽办法出席教会聚会，每一次我做到了，我都很感恩。
出席聚会对我来说，已经使每个星期一定要做的事。
或许我应该说，不只是个习惯，更是一种需要！

好了，留下了，电话开始来了。（家里打来）
我的心完全的不安。（想着继续留下还是回家？）
那时，牧师正讲着“智慧的文学”。（就像在上华文课，有趣的华文课！）
不想走，但其实有很想走。扰乱的思绪，不断重复又重复。
“为什么去个教会要这么难？”
“为什么别人可以这么舒服坐在这里听道？”
“为什么有些人有自由来教会却从不珍惜？”
满脑子的埋怨~哀！

试着平定自己，开始分析。
既然我做了选择要留下，我必须有所得着才值得！
人坐在这里，心想这家里，何谓？
开始专心听道！

在一个小时半里面，印象最深刻的是“家的传承”。
传承，在华人的传统里面，包含了深刻的意义。
“三岁定八十！”
我深深地相信，在一个小孩还是三岁的时候，你在他身上种下的种子，是会生根的！
试想我在三岁的时候都在做什么？
我家人有像牧师教导孩子“做人的道理”？
其实我不知道我在三岁这无知的年龄里做了什么。
直到牧师提起了主日学！阿~对阿！我有去勒~
印象还蛮深刻，种种做过的事的片断浮现！
真的，如果不是妈妈送我去主日学，也许我不会有今天。
记得那天妈在责备我的时候也说了这句话--"我最错就是以前让你去教会！”
我何等的感恩，何等的感谢，那小时候被种下的种子！

……就这样，我的小脑袋瓜儿在整个特会中，装下了不少东西！
有点遗憾没能听完结尾，带着有点低落的心情开车回去。
整个驾驶的当儿，我真想一路的车道都空去，让我踏油狂飙！
好吧，败给了理智。关了收音机，打开手机的诗歌来听。
平静，冷静。

就酱，杂杂的一天，让我写下了这杂杂的短篇。
看不明白？只好请你自己找重点.=p
曾经有个姐妹告诉我，当有点迷失的时候，尝试写下自己的心情，会看得更清楚！
现在果然心情平复了许多，因为看到，今天的祝福远远胜过我所有的挫折！
浅浅的，在脸上挂上一抹微笑！ =)

p/s: 刚收到一位“小”姐妹的信息，小小的问候关心，足以让我感动得掉泪。
对我来说，这不只窝心，还很惊喜！
告诉你，神真的回应祷告！还没回应？只是时候未到！=) 晚安~





刚把电脑里的照片翻看一遍，原来他们已存了几乎28GB。嘻！
惊觉自己似乎变得蛮多的。。多了份成熟？
我倒觉得是多了担待，多了思考，多了。。。重量！哈哈~
每一个照片的表情，唤起了断断回忆~大约也只有两三张哭着的照片。。（珍藏！不会拿出来吓人！）
突然觉得，哭，真的那么不值得纪念吗？

天真小花蕾?

十八姑娘，一朵花？

现在两朵了？

本人我，好哭者也~
开心哭，感动哭，生气哭，难过哭，疼痛哭，思念哭，离别哭，庆祝也哭！
生命中，似乎也离不开哭嘛！
哭笑无常，“它们”的存在，是你生命的激长素，都使你成长！

想想，本人我真的很害怕在“别人”面前掉眼泪。
但我的眼泪，有时候真的不听使唤，害我“丢人现眼”。
恍然大悟，也没怎么样嘛~不过是真情流露，做回自己罢了！^^
虽然，我不会如何哭得“漂亮”，不失大雅。
我只会哭得爽快，哭得甘愿~
起码，那时我释放的解脱！
甚至如果有一段时间我没哭，会觉得自己压抑太多，很想哭。。（不知是不是荷尔蒙失调=p)
就会开始叫身边的朋友来“激发”我哭。哈哈~听起来很傻吧？是有点~
但我就是我啦，喜欢自然不做作！=)
也许，可以开始练习在我的相簿里，留下“难过”的表情。
当下一次我“旧簿重游”的时候，“它们"可以成为见证！

探热器显示--发烧中~

P/S：成绩出炉了！这次有小进步！非常感恩！不忘我当时的挣扎，做出了对的选择！^^
剩下最后一学期的考试，奋力加油！全速前进！继续冲刺！
还有还有，小姐我“小病”初愈！上班一个星期多，在两天前不慎发高烧！失声！
现在高烧退了，舒服了！迎接美好的另一天鲁~*爱心爱心！发光发光！*









难过的时候，你懂。
灰心的时候，你懂。
逞强的时候，你懂。
我所有的一举一动，你都懂。

所有的心情，所有的念头，你一一看守。
在我无助的时候，在我泄气的时候，
在我寂寞的时候，在我还没出生的时候。。

现在的我，心里的澎湃悸动，多么的感动你赐下的那一份爱。
我的一生，全然交托。
因我知你必不唾弃我，抛下我独自流泪面对忧伤。
不管在这世上所经历过的伤害有多大，
我只想说：阿爸，我愿意降服。
重新在你身上，找回力量。
重新回到，以你为中心的轨道上。

让我的生命，成为这首歌的异象。





失眠。我想离开。T.T
噩梦连连了几个晚上，今晚更是发了无数个噩梦。。。
一时梦见工作上的问题。。
一事梦见同一个人。。。
我真的快发疯了。
现在的我，不想面对，只想离开。

独自面对恐惧的晚上，真的很难熬。
冷~



最近在上班下班开车时听到的新歌。
觉得满好听的~推荐！
在这里，我把一下的歌献歌我爱的人们。
每首歌里所包含的含义，都充分表达我的感受。
读者，如果你觉得你是我的爱人，就在听歌选歌后，请自行对号入座！XD
入场免费！谢谢！


隐语：怀念


隐语：真实


隐语：爱在心中

last day at Kampar

emptied.

stuff.

aunt Isabel teaching tambourine.

"Joseph" in the scene.

"Mary" in the scene.lol

Sharon was teaching kid to act as shepherds and sheeps.

studying the scripts.

ini budak sangat senang.nothing to do.like his laughter at   that place anyway.lol

lol.Rosalind was so frustrated with catching the chords. i manage to helped her up at last!hahas

oh well im just so off to dessert!

okies.talking about my interns.started from 3rd of Oct.
ohlala~its gonna be a long 3months i think.
lol.leave the rest of the stories to this weekend i think.
gonna do my devotional and off to bed!
night peeps!*love!*

3rd day after work!
Bit tired of writing.heh.
Stay tuned for more updates!lol.
Xoxoxoxo..

I wish there is another fairy tale waiting for me in the other side! ;)