★iM nOt A sTaR★

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♥Miss.J♥

complex ceation which is faithfully made.

READ me and you'll know who i am and who am i.

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love stories♥life testimonies

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

the 20th days

okie..i watched a drama last weekend at taiping.
hehe..like finally got time to watch drama.=p
and then the drama did mentioned about birthday.
and so..i thought of may is around the corner..
exciting?NEVER..
first time im so afraid of the coming of my birthday..
y?hmm..how to say..

1.because when the day come..im officially 20th..
yor..no more "1" in front d..
afraid of looking old..
now ad got salesman in the mall asked me am i a worker d..(=.=)
and even lecturer thought dat im his colleague..>.< (30yrs old ah) OMG!!!huh..can't believe dis.. *duh* 2.on that day..its my final test day.. 11th will test IS 12th will test business accounting both are scary.. i really very scared that my mood will be affected and cause me cannot focus. especially 12th is the last day of exam.. im praying hard that..i can fully focus on that day.. duwan to let my emotions take over me..>.<

3.im kinda afraid of celebration.
y?hmm..sad to say that i will feel the "lose" on the second day..
its not good that feeling..
i will think a lot..
for me,d next day..is a.......(duno how to describe)
even when now im thinking about that day..
my heart is like..seizing d.
gosh..hope i can overcome it..

hmm..yahh..so..thats y..
this year i just gt abit small small wishes:

1.i hope everyone around me..can healthy and happy always
2.i hope i can do better dis final
3.i hope "he" and "she" wont disappoint me dis year.(they're important to me until they can really crush my emotions)
4.i hope i can go travel on 12th after d paper..don't wana be alone.

huh..i dun think im able to blog on that few days..
so i make my wishes earlier..haha..very early
=p

so..speaking about i went back to taiping last weekends..
i've escape from "qing ming"
hehe..dad forced me to go but i refused to go..
had a very nice sleep on my sweet bed..hehe
played with curbie..hes becoming "longer" d..haha
hugged my huggie..
visit grandparents..
hmm..im so reject to accept they're getting older and weaker d..
i hope im able to visit them everytime i back to taiping..
phew..din hang out to anywhere dis time..
just wana rest at home..no time oso..
n my little bro transfer his school to aulong d..no more hua lian 1..
i hope dats d right choice for him..
yyeeea..dats all for now..im gonna get up and wash up d..(just wake up)=p

loves,
jess :j

9:46 AM

Thursday, March 25, 2010

life with testimony!!!

hello people..im back!!

wahaha..i know i know..i've been ingore my dear blog for about one month ago..

sry for that..i can see that the number of readers is still increasing although my blogs dead..=p

hmm..who is reading my blog actually?(i dunno)

woohoo~actually i have too much to share but lack of time..

hehe..life's getting abundance..

well..where to start???eee...

okie..for your information..i've been drive my dad's old car back to kampar..

its officially OLD..but it is safer compare to "kancil"..

y?its big and heavy..(i call it "my big star")

of course..the petrol tank is also bigger..lol

and thus..i have to budget rm240 per month for my petrol fees..*headache*

but thank God..i still appreciate that..=)

ok..what i've been doing for the past few weeks?days full with assignments,presentataions,and tests..its like never ending tonnes of works..yeah..it stress me out and as routine..i was sick for the past weeks..and im RECOVER now!!!so nice that i can enjoy and have a little relaxation time again..XD

there was so much to learn during the hectic days..

what i can see is not only about the assignments stuff..but the learning of team work and communication..

tests is not only a test..but its a homework to learn about self-discipline..

theres so much obstacles and challenges you may need to face..

but when everything comes to an end..

you'll realize that..nothing will break you down..

whatever you're facing in your life..

it won't overbearing you..

what He wants is to make you to grow mature spiritually..

surely,physically you're be upsets,tired,and met disappointments..

but i know..Hes my cure..the KING OF GLORY~i LOVE HIM~! =)))

He'll never leave me alone..thats really really true..

theres a testimony w'd like to share with you all..

that is really really a great great blessing to me!!

ok..the story start like this..

at the night 23th of March..

i was very tired after finish my assignments stuff..

and i actually promise my housemates to go g2 together..(a christian youth centre)

to have steambot there..becoming a member there and listen some message there..

i was dun feel like going d bcuz of too tired d..

but at last i also chose to go..hmm

so i met pastor Desmond there officially..(met him before but not that formal)

and after the message..i got a thought..

so i shared with one of my housemate(sarah)

i said:"i felt like im planned to be here..to receive the message..which can reflects my life this few days..and it makes me realize something that is currently bordering me.."

and then we have a short chat there..then i left her study there..

and i myself go reading also..we were actually waiting the time to past and planning to go for a refreshment..

so when the time is about to point at 12a.m..

we said bye bye to p.desmond..

and get into my car..

ok..first time..that is really first time..i talk with sarah and forgot to caution about the cars behind when i reverse my car..

everytime i reverse car i also will very "stress"..becuz u know..kampar people drive without law..>.<

but first time i was too focus on my talking and..i kena d..

heres a black waja with black mirror..everything black..

i cant realize it was behind me(parking there)i have to reverse straight becuz theres a row of bicycles beside my car..

and so..i kissed the waja..

quickly..i called my housemates to go down look for it..(i wanted to park my car first)

but the INDIANS ran out from mamak..

i was panic!omg..i know.something bad is going to happen!

i left my car there and tried to communicate with the idians....>.<

"mana bapa kamu?"

"ada apa apa abang sini?"

c'on la..where i find bapa and abang here?=.=

i faster called sarah to go upstairs and ask p.desmond for help..

obviously..his car is nothing..the paint is still there..my car is perfectly ok too..just his car surface gt abit a little "concave" that cnt easily seen..

"report la kami senang"

obviosly...i know hes gonna blame me for getting my money..

huh..p.desmond come and he also know that hes going to blame me for the sake of money..

the repairing fees is just costing rm50 only.but he refused to let me repair..

he said hes not local but from kl..so hv to rush back to kl to work 2ml..fine!

then p.desmond called his fren(a mechanic)to come and see and estimate the repair cost..

i just stayed aside and ask my housemates to pray together..

i was totally panic d..but i stop myself to cry..

becuz i know once i cry..they'll have advantage d..

and the mechanic came..omg..it was an idian too!driving the two trailers here..

and right after he stopped the trailer..he ad greets those idians..(shakes hands there d)

i know something not good is gonna happen..

"dua ratus ah?bayar la.."

he said cheap only ma..if wana repair seriously have to spray paint for the whole car..(he can speak cantonese)

huh..what rubbish is that?my housemates told me after that..actually theres no such thing..becuz the black paint for black color is just have one code only..wont come out different color..somemore the paint still there..=.=

obviously..having "satu m'sia" among them d..

p'desmond helped me to communicate and finally they decrease the money to 150bucks from 200bucks..

the idians say he also dwn to charge me..bt cnt becuz he just bang people's car last week and ad pay for 1000+..so now not money d..=.=

i cried right after they gone..(p.desmond helped me to pay first becuz i didn;t bring my purse out)

i started to blame myself..hw can i so careless to make such stupid mistake.

how could i didn't caution of the cars while driving..and make myself into trouble like this?

i cant let my dad know about this d..how could i?

just went to repair my car that morning..ad spent d..still now buta buta give ppl 150bucks again..

my financial is really gonna be in trouble d..how am i gonna survive for these 3months?

(for your info..i've pledge an amounth to HOPE Kampar..becuz we're going to move to a new centre)

thats y..and u started to worry about that..

huh...

calm down after went back to room..

sitting there..(stunned d)

dunno what to do and dun feel lk doing anything too..totally blank..

talked with von and jos..i started to realize that..why should i worry for that?

i should be grateful for everything..its a lesson for me since i meant to be there..and i know im not suppose to worry becuz He will surely protect me..but my heart still will some out with those worryness..

and i pray and calm myself..tried to force myself to bed(having presentation in the next morning at 8a.m)

but i can't sleep at all..my mind can't stop thinking about that..i cant forgive myself for doing such mistake..

and i have nightmares too(i cant said it here..its too long)

but what i can say is..it were so real..the dream will continue after i woke up and sleep again..the story continues..omg..scary..

and for the 2nd time i woke up from that dream..it was already 6something..

i decided to wake up..and i can see my hands got some strip(same as in the dream)

i start to think..theres something there..i know..God is trying to tell me something..

and bla bla bla for the whole day..

until at night i went for cell group..

nobody knows what happened to me on the previous night..(i thought)

and i tell bee khim(leader) after the cell group ends..

and she ask me to pray together behind the kitchen..she said that theres the tests that He wants us to learn and grow to maturity..becuz we're going to expand His Kingdom..satan will surely attack us..calvin and sushi(bros in church)ad had an motor accident..yun lai(another bro)have felt down from bicycle..and another sister's car also bang by somebody..and then still gt many many things happening around..

and so we have to give thanks..becuz we know that something really good is going to happen after this..we prayed..we proclaimed that God is going to protect us all the way along with us and Hes gonna BLESS us!!

and once i open my eyes..kay yong(my shepherd a.k.a cg leader)pass an envelope to me..and she sais that was from star one(the cell group)..i was like..omg!!is that a real?its like a miracle!!the prayers had been answered for the next second!i din expect that will happen..they offered me..100bucks!omg omg..it was so touch..i really appreciate tat very much..

and the next day..when i go for meeting..i met joshua..he gave me 50bucks and said that it was from p.desmod(i ad pay him back by borrowing the money from housemates)..i was like..omg..no!im not gonna take that d..i think i can afford that d..and i should take my own responsibility..but joshua said i should not refuse becuz its my blessings..so i said ok..i'll take it..and i'll pledge it into church..=)

can u imagine that?150bucks..no more no less but ngam ngam!!!

what i wana say is..when u start to believe..it sill surely happen!!God is REAL!i really appreaciate what i've experience from this accident..

and i'll continus pray for our church!!revival is coming people!!we in a family in Christ with love and HOPE!!!!Thank god for putting me here to learn...thank you!

so..think im free now?nope..my life still cant slow down..

lol..i'll be the organiser for may intake welcoming night and comittee team for talent night(church program)..im gonna be so so so busy..have to brush up my keyboard skills as well..

*phew*lifes so colourful man!i think i just left thursday night is free and available only..

mon night-bible study + shepherding

tue night-meeting for committee team

wed night-cell group

thu night-duty to cook for housemates

fri night-prayers meeting

see?haha..its all fully booked!but its good for me!!c'on april and may!!im gonna rock it up!!

hehe..heres some pics taken during the outing with ying..can make it a story pics act.. but all these pics were naturally captured by jalen..haha..its all NATURAL!

quarel d?

grandma is teaching her granddaughter about some life story..

nice movie that touched my heart!m'sia boleh!

my favourite fererro roucher in the cinema!!damn enjoy!

love you much much babe!;)

well..i have a GREAT LIFE but life still move on!

i'll do my very best in the coming days..more and more..better and better everyday!

additionally..heres my assignment blog that is done by me alone..(every words every pic,including editing the html code)so proud of it..cant imagine i can done it til mid night 4a.m for two nights and it come out with "not bad" result i think..=p Glory to the Lord!!wahaha..

heres the link you can have a look! http://www.utariansrus.blogspot.com/

*loves*x.o.x.o

11:46 PM

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

***status***

im single but unavailable!!

in the process of "preparing"..and so called "waiting"

preparing-to be the mrs.right

and waiting for the mr.right

thank God for giving me so many of messages in one day..

though i did doubt about the message in my dream..

but now..i think i can confirm that the dream is real..

d way You speak to me..i can feel the power..

although theres still some messages that i cant really understand..(hidden message..lol)
but i'll continue to pray..yes..i should..

and the BGC seminar..

its like a part 2 of my dream..

and it awakes me about some hidden messages..

its amazing!the time i was still wondering whats the message..

and it appears right after..

i need to keep this dream in my mind..until You show me the right way..

"...come Holy Spirit fall on me now..

i need Your anointing come in Your power..

i love You Holy Spirit..

You captivating my soul..

and everyday i grow to love You more.."

p/s:getting serious into sickness of mine..pray hard for my health too..>.<

11:42 PM

♥may the force be with you♥

angie
averse
elfin
hui sia
j-one
khai ling
khim
thomas
vri
yan cheong

♥after tomorrow but before today♥

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